You Say She’s Just A Friend

Whether or not men and women can truly be platonic friends is an ongoing debate. And the answers to the puzzling question are as numbered as Tiger Woods’ mistresses.

It is my belief men and women truly can be platonic friends. I also encourage women to get some male friends if you don’t have any. Men’s solicited advice is vastly different than what your homegirl’s are going to tell you. Besides, men are nonstop fun to cut up with when hanging out. Like, would you and your girls feel comfortable just strolling into a strip club together to drink, listen to music and check out guys? You get a pass to do this with your male friends. What? Stop acting like you’ve never been to the strip club where ass & tits are the main attraction.

Anyways, it’s no secret that I’ve had trust issues in the past. Whatever you want to attribute those trust issues to, be my guest. But don’t forget to include that a lot of men have trouble keeping their penis in their boxer briefs while in committed relationships. So it’s only logical that I would raise my brow to boyfriends who have a plethora of female friends.

As someone with two male best friends and a host of other platonic male friends, I don’t have an issue with the beau having female friends. However, when some of those female friends are women he once talked to, kissed, sexed, liked, thought of being with…uhh, I’m kind of watching y’all like Chris Stokes was watching B2K’s booties. Literally.

Before you raise your sword ready for war and start spitting the trust mantra: “If you trust your significant other it shouldn’t matter. Without trust a relationship is nothing,” hear me out. It’s not about trust, but moreso about eliminating possibilities for your partner to even be in a predicament to slip up. Keeping around old flings and people you have had some type of connection with is a recipe for disaster.

My ex/bff, yes Wisdom, use to tell me: “You just think dudes are supposed to cut off every female they know because you’re not cool with any of your ex’s.” He used to annoy the shit out of me with this simplistic argument. I don’t think at all a man or woman should cut off friends they’ve known and had way before they ever knew you existed. That is unfair. But I also don’t understand why men have to still communicate with a woman who has never been anything more than a jumpoff; however, now you want to use the word “friend” interchangeably for jumpoff. Naw boo, that’s not your friend and she gots to go!

And then there’s the woman/man who really is your SO’s friend. It just so happens at one point in time they liked each other and thought they could possibly date. After getting to know one another better they realized they would never work, but remained really close friends. According to your mate they’ve never had sex either. Are you not supposed to be skeptical of their friendship? Trusting your boo is one thing, but trusting somebody you don’t know is another.

Or what about the one ex you know had a very special place in your man or woman’s heart at one time, and now they are close friends. The ex has a new SO, you’re in your happy relationship with your guy/gal, no problems there, right?

Now you and the new boo talk about it and they reassure you who’s who, what is what and why no one holds a candle to you. And you truly believe them. All is bliss in your world.

So is this just an over analytical brain thinking too much?  Are the thoughts indicative of residue from previous trust issues? Or are these legitimate concerns?

It all seems like a slippery slope to tread.

Where does one draw the line between which friends of the opposite sex you keep around once you enter into a relationship?

Speak on it.

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