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What’s the Real Motive Behind “No Wedding, No Womb?”

On September 22, the anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation, writer Christelyn Karazin launched her site for the “No Wedding, No Womb” movement. The Internet has been all the buzz around this issue since its inception. In droves people have either pledged their support or voiced their opposition. You all should know me well enough by now to know I’m a part of the latter.

Back in August, Loop 21 ran a blog rant disguised as an article titled Stupid Excuses for Having Kids Out of Wedlock. In the article, Karazin proudly referred to herself as a “baby mama” in attempts to validate her stance. Her post ended declaring, “It’s time for women and men to stand together with a new mantra, “No Wedding, No Womb!”” With a raised eyebrow, I knew this PR slogan mantra would reappear later.

“No Wedding, No Womb” is a movement advocating black men and women be married before reproducing children. On the surface marriage is the ideal family structure, and her goal seems to be honorable. Yet the concept is problematic.

Karazin has written for a number of publications, is the co-author of the upcoming book, Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate Mixing Race Culture and Creed and runs the website Beyond Black & White. She’s a mother, self-proclaimed “baby mama,” and married to a white man. The last sentence of her bio reads, “[Christelyn is] a mother of four children–three of them biracial–and has been married to her husband, Michael, (who just happens to be white) for eight happy, hectic years.”

Hmmm. Now why would she need to profess to the world that three of her four children are biracial, and her husband is white? Why separate your children based on their racial identity? Furthermore, is it necessary for everyone to know her husband is white? Also keep in mind Karazin has a Paypal donation box on the site. What is this money being used for? It was also made clear in her original blog post that the father of her first child is black and he never married her. So could her movement be a response to an underlying issue she has with black men? Could she be platform building to sell her upcoming book?

I mention this not to attack Karazin’s character. However, it is imperative to understand the source and her motives when she has created a movement of some sorts.

Why “No Wedding, No Womb” is Problematic

 

Karazin’s initiative is based on the skewed statistic that 70 percent of black children are born out of wedlock. Yet Karazin fails to provide any other context surrounding this statistic. I’m a writer, so I hate math. But the Atlantic’s Senior Editor Ta-Nehisi Coates does an excellent job breaking down the actual math in a 2008 and 2009 article on the subject.

Presumably, Karazin equates out of wedlock with absentee. Very flawed logic. This is why I question most statistics and studies. 70 percent of black children born out of wedlock is not synonymous with both parents not being actively involved in the child’s life. Does the statistic include women who have the child out of wedlock and later marry the father or another man?  We don’t know because the statistics don’t provide that information. Out of wedlock means just that. It is not an indication of how the child is being raised or by whom.

My biggest problem with “No Wedding, No Womb” is the vilification of black women. As if the media’s obsession with the unhappy successful single black woman meme wasn’t enough. In the FAQ section of the newly launched site, she specifically states she is not bashing single mothers. Maybe not directly, but indirectly that is exactly what is happening. Inserting womb in the mantra directly shifts the accountability, responsibility and blame to the women. Where is the “She Didn’t Have this Baby by Herself” mantra? It seems like just another attack on black women.

Its no surprise conservatives have jumped on the bandwagon to support the campaign. A black woman heading a movement that blames the black community for its current condition is right up their alley. No need to study history to understand slavery largely contributed to the dismantling of the black family.

Raising children is a serious issue and should not be taken lightly; and a nuclear family is ideal for some. But nuclear families are not always the best for the child either. Married couples are not always the best parents, especially if there is turmoil between the spouses. There’s a popular saying, “I’d rather have one good parent then two dysfunctional ones.”

Time would be better spent educating and mentoring teenage girls about the ramifications of sex. Helping to build our young girls self-esteem so they don’t feel pressured into sex would be a better proactive approach. Or what about a program that emphasizes sex without a condom can be a matter of life or death? A movement providing resources for women who are already single mothers with the hopes of ending the cycle is even better. That’s something worth people’s time.

In the meantime stop pretending as if black women somehow are the culprits of this out of wedlock calamity. In the words of writer Helena Andrews, “And can I just say that I’m f*cking tired of the vilification of single black mothers. I’m still being raised by one. I’m awesome. The end.”

  • *applause* This was awesome, is all I can say.

  • Yvette

    I agree with questioning the motive behind the authors need to announce the racial divides in the family. One, hopefully this isn’t the ongoing topic at the dinner table particularly when one child is not mixed. I believe its an attempt to sell herself and connect with a variety of audiences. You raise good points relative to statistics. They only address the unwed mother and does not take into consideration both parties level of involvement. I personally haven’t read enough to know where this “movement” is headed; however, I agree with educating our young girls, mentoring them, and making sure they are mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually prepared to make healthy decisions for themselves. Does this “movement” mean its ok to have a child as long as you’re married first, and whatever happens after that so be it! I’m not sure how well thought out it was. But I can say she’s been successful in having it be a topic of discussion. Let’s see where it goes…

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  • Colleen

    Although I understand your point of view in reading your review I believe you are missing the point in the NO Wedding NO Womb movement. As a young black female attending college in the fall I agree with this movement.

    However I believe the main issue we should be concerned with is the CHILD first. To all black woman who want children in their life even if you do not believe you will be in the prospects of marrying, I ask you this: Can you be financially supportive for this child(s) with just you alone as the parent, will you NEED assistance from your FAMILY, and assistance from the GOVERNMENT. BUT most importantly will you provide a POSITIVE MALE role model for your child(s) or will the father be in a REGULAR contact with the child(s). If as single mother you can provide a financially stable and secure future for your child(s) without a MAJOR (not minor; as in occasional babysitting or reliance on EVERY gov’ aid) assistance then I advocate entering for mothermood before marriage. However this is NOT the case for MAJORITY of single mothers especially single black mothers; that is the main reason for the NO Wedding NO Womb movement.

    Also she is mainly advocating marriage for those who WANT the prospects of marriage in the future. MAJORITY of these out wedlock births are NOT grown adult women who just want a child, stable prospective mothers, or even lesbian couples but rather Young black teens who are not fully capable of

    raising children on their own. Therefore this world will always judge them harshly for using lack of common sense to either be abstinent, use some form of birth control, consider an abortion, And/Or when having sexual encounters TALK and discuss with your partner the consequences of what COULD happen if pregnacy does occurr. I highly believe my generation is given the great freedom to have sex at a young age outside of marriage without a FULL social stigma or outlash, but yet we as a generation (my generation) do not take FULL responsibility.

    I also think you misunderstood the writers aim at discussing her interracial marriage. She from my interpretation, is saying it possible for an intteracial marriage for a black woman to work (just like any other marriage) and that as black women we should not limit ourselves to only black men.

  • Debra

    excellent – very well written!