Talk about someone addicted to Twitter. ‘Tis true. My engagement on social media has caused arguments in past relationships and friendships. My best friend walked out of a restaurant on me after dinner because I couldn’t wouldn’t put down my phone while we were talking. She was not here for my apparent rudeness.

I love Twitter for all the right and wrong reasons. The laughs are endless. The shade is epic. But don’t get it twisted. I’ve never been here for the Mean Girls of Twitter and the dragging that frequently ensues. More than the shits and giggles, Twitter is the best place to get all of my daily news in one place. Instead of constantly checking The New York Times or The Atlantic or Hip Hop Wired I can just read my timeline and click whatever I’m interested in reading. Not to mention Twitter is always the first to break any type of controversy, salacious headline worthy news or make a meme viral.

All that said, let’s get into the shenanigans and greatness Twitter brought my way this week.

‘Oprah, girl, you know you can’t afford this bag!‘

Homegirl in Switzerland really tried it. Oprah was over in Zurich, Switzerland getting her shop on at the upscale Trois Pommes when a $38,000 bag caught Oprah’s very wealthy eye. Per Oprah, the salesclerk had the audacity of hope (shoutout to my bestie for that phrase) to tell Oprah, “It’s too expensive.” Oprah let this cat of alleged racism out the bag to Entertainment Tonight while promoting Lee Daniel’s The Butler. The story received so much buzz—despite Oprah purposely not naming the store—the owner and salesclerk have since responded leading to Oprah’s apology for even mentioning the incident.

Oprah, girl, why are you apologizing? It’s your story to tell. You thought it was racism, so be it. This type of racism happens daily from black women being mistaken for working at the store (even though we have our purse and coat on like all the other shoppers) or being followed around the store as if we’re going to steal something. What was more interesting than the story itself was the response from some men. I missed the memo that gave certain men an authority on questioning why Oprah would dare think of purchasing a $38,000 purse for herself. Imagine it. Broke Negroes protesting over Oprah spending her hard earned money on whatever the hell she wants. Everyone reading this gets how that’s sexism at work, right? Because we laud celebrity men for their expensive art collections, multiple cars and fancy watches. Yet somehow a black woman who is a self-made billionaire considers spending nearly 40 racks on a bag and this is an indictment on her character. Man, listen. The critiques of Oprah’s spending says so much about race and sexism, and I have faith y’all understand why.

Big Sean, come get ya girl

I don’t like Naya Rivera and Sean together. There, I said it. Big Sean is actually hella likeable. When he’d talk about his pretty brown skinned ex-girlfriend Ashley I’d beam. If you’re wondering why mentioning she was brown skinned matters…well, I can’t really help you. It matters. Now that he’s with Glee’s finest and it just screams publicity.

Naya is going to milk this relationship. Ok? And I guess we will have to deal. Now I’ve never heard a Naya song a day in my life before this new relationship was force-fed to us on all the blogs. “Sorry” featuring her boo is basically a “Nah nah na boo boo. I got your ex man” song. The fact that she’s been with Sean all of two minutes and she’s calling out women he once loved is tacky as all hell. Insecure much? I mean, what was the damn point? There’s no way in hell Sean should’ve co-signed or even thought of laying a verse to that mess. Then, then, Nessa girl, he called it a lady’s anthem. For who? Basic Broads United? ‘Cause I can’t be bothered with putting pen to paper to publicly “diss” anyone my boo used to deal with if I haven’t been provoked. Let me find out Naya is salty about Medium Sean’s HOF  track “Ashley” dedicated to the ex he still holds in very high regard.

When you’re secure in your position you just chill. No need for shots. Again, unless provoked because some of these exes are…chile. This 2013 lackluster “he’s mine, you may have had him once but I got him all the time” is tired. Naya is no Mokenstef, so I’mma need her to do better.

Kris Jenner is passing none of the tests

Kris came for president Obama over his critique that Americans’ focus has shifted from the American Dream to what Kim K. is wearing and where Kanye is vacationing. He told no lies in regards to our society’s obsession with fame. But noooooo. Kris Jenner has the reading comprehension skills of an 8th grader. Her response to the president on her soon to be cancelled talk show was the poster child of Missing the Damn Point. It also irked me that Terence J. didn’t respectfully disagree with her as the week’s guest co-host. But I guess he must collect those coins with a closed mouth. I don’t even want Kris to have a seat. She should just lay down right along with Miley.

Don’t nobody care about your fake tears, Miley

Do you see what you rappers have done? You’ve now extended her 15 minutes of ‘Look at me, all the cool black rappers love me’ hype that would’ve ended by now, but nope. Y’all had to go make her the lead in your ratchet video and feature her on your songs. Miley hopped on Twitter to cry me a river.

Excuse me, bitch? I don’t have enough words to express how much I wish Miley would just go away. Far away. You can check out my more thoughtful views on her appropriation of black culture on theGrio.com.

You mad? #solidarityisforwhitewomen

Black women let have with #solidatirityisforwhitewomen, a hashtag that attempted to tackle the complex subject of  the white privilege that exists in feminism. Yes, GAWD. Chile, liberal white feminists were maaaaad. Women of color feminists have been silenced for decades. Feminism at its best must be inclusive of all women. Ain’t I A Woman? Too bad most took it as an all out attack on white women individually. It was not, and many women should’ve known better. Alice Walker tried to tell y’all that womanism is the way.

K DOT called that man Jermaine

Kendrick Lamar is the King of New York, he rapped. He damn near broke the Internet after New York’s Hot 97 debuted Big Sean’s “Control” featuring Kendrick Lamar and Jay Electronica. The cut didn’t make Sean’s upcoming Hall of Fame due to “sample clearance,” but it’s seven straight minutes of raw rap. Kendrick verbally assassinated everybody. I wouldn’t put it on my album either, b. Big Sean got “Renegade’d.” What made Kendrick’s verse so amazing is that he named names, like Jermaine Cole. Dog. J. Cole has to respond. You don’t just drop a man’s full government name without getting a hot 16 fired back at you. Disrespectful. Calling rappers to task doesn’t happen anymore because rap has gotten all Cottonelle soft peaceful and shit. He singlehandedly put the natural competition back in rap. Now these dudes have to step their bars up. And this is why I just can’t leave hip-hop alone.

The energy on Black Twitter Monday night was palpable. It really was a moment for hip-hop. I was glued to my timeline for two hours straight. Folks had a field day with the memes of who K Dot named and he who he didn’t—because the ones he didn’t name he most likely considers unworthy. Catch this tea that Lil Wayne wasn’t mentioned. Or Kanye. Sips my red Koolaid. By midday Tuesday not one rapper had responded on a verse. Joell Ortiz was the first. Rappers (Lupe, Pusha T, Joey Badass, Joe Budden, Fabolous, etc.) reacted via Twitter, but not one verse. Remember when Angel Haze took 30 mins tops to respond to Azealia Banks’s diss? Yeah. I need the fellas to get it together.

Before anyone dared to get in the booth Styles P had already won the Internet. A real goon, Styles was not here for Joe Budden @’ing about the K Dot saga him as if they were cool. He told son he’s a street dude and Joe was a ‘net dude. LET THEM KNOW, STYLES. Styles P is a real G. Joe may want to lay low.

K Dot didn’t diss anyone in the verse. He has tremendous respect for the guys he named. But as a student of the game who has studied hip-hop, he wants rappers to get back to the art of the music. If Kendrick made dudes think about the lyrics, wordplay, storytelling of their next rhymes, I salute him. Hip-hop needed that.

Nas still king of New York though.

So you see, there’s a method to this Twitter madness. I admire the freedom of those in professions that doesn’t require them to be on any social media. That is not my life though. Even with the hashtags and retweets, n—-, it’s still 140 karats in these streets. Word to Shawn Carter.

What headlines had you reacting? Let me know in the comments!